'Til Death Do Us Part

I've always taken issue with loss. People, places, things. I moved around a lot as a kid. Never far from the general area that I live in, but from birth to now, I've lived in nine different places. I went to two different elementary schools and two different middle schools, having to deal with the awkward "making new friends" part of life two more times than would have been necessary if I had never moved at all, and making new friends was never something I was good at. It was difficult to say goodbye to old friends and even more difficult to build up the courage to say hello to new ones. Perhaps this is the reason why now, at twenty two years old, I find it impossible to let people out of my life. I have let poisonous, unworthy people into my life, and instead of cutting ties when I finally "saw the light," I instead chose to hold on to these people, although sometimes at a distance. I realize that my inability to throw things from my life away probably stems from some deep seeded issue that I have yet to identify, but I'm very curious to consider theories on the subject. I can barely throw away a receipt without giving it a thought. This is why my life is so full of clutter. Perhaps because I have a real issue with the things that I have lost in life and I try to make up for it by holding close EVERYTHING in it now, regardless of its usefulness. I in no way mean to give the impression that I'm complaining about my life-I have been very blessed and thank God for His gifts numerous times a day, but I believe that I have the right to look at the life I have led and attempt to decipher the meaning behind my ways.

In any case, I plan on using the next few days and upcoming weekend to rid the clutter from my life. This will be time consuming-there are magazines that I have kept for ten years on my shelves. But I need to rid my life of unnecessary things. I think that I need to make sure I revisit my past more often in order to keep my present and future on the right path.

Although it's used in marriage vows, I think of this more in terms of life in general. I've never believed in the phrase "'til death do us part." Nothing in life is constant, except for one fact-everything is always changing.