'Til Death Do Us Part

I've always taken issue with loss. People, places, things. I moved around a lot as a kid. Never far from the general area that I live in, but from birth to now, I've lived in nine different places. I went to two different elementary schools and two different middle schools, having to deal with the awkward "making new friends" part of life two more times than would have been necessary if I had never moved at all, and making new friends was never something I was good at. It was difficult to say goodbye to old friends and even more difficult to build up the courage to say hello to new ones. Perhaps this is the reason why now, at twenty two years old, I find it impossible to let people out of my life. I have let poisonous, unworthy people into my life, and instead of cutting ties when I finally "saw the light," I instead chose to hold on to these people, although sometimes at a distance. I realize that my inability to throw things from my life away probably stems from some deep seeded issue that I have yet to identify, but I'm very curious to consider theories on the subject. I can barely throw away a receipt without giving it a thought. This is why my life is so full of clutter. Perhaps because I have a real issue with the things that I have lost in life and I try to make up for it by holding close EVERYTHING in it now, regardless of its usefulness. I in no way mean to give the impression that I'm complaining about my life-I have been very blessed and thank God for His gifts numerous times a day, but I believe that I have the right to look at the life I have led and attempt to decipher the meaning behind my ways.

In any case, I plan on using the next few days and upcoming weekend to rid the clutter from my life. This will be time consuming-there are magazines that I have kept for ten years on my shelves. But I need to rid my life of unnecessary things. I think that I need to make sure I revisit my past more often in order to keep my present and future on the right path.

Although it's used in marriage vows, I think of this more in terms of life in general. I've never believed in the phrase "'til death do us part." Nothing in life is constant, except for one fact-everything is always changing.

I regret to inform you...

re*gret
1. to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.)
2. to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one's vanished youth.

We've all heard it a million times-someone say "I live my life without any regrets." I myself have often used the phrase, but after giving it some thought, it simply sounds ridiculous. We all do things throughout our life spans that sometimes are not fully thought out. Driving drunk, vandalism, stealing, cheating, fighting, being verbally abusive. Sadly, most of us do the majority of those things, and more, throughout the duration of our lives. Can we really say that we do these things without feeling remorseful for them? Hurting loved ones, or someone else's loved ones? Compassion is a part of human nature, and although we may not act on that compassion, it still exists inside ourselves (for the most part). I wholeheartedly agree with the concept-learn from your mistakes, try to make the best out of dispiriting situations, and move on. But it IS regret if you move on and feel bad about the situation. It is NOT regret if you move on and feel no compassion toward the people affected by the situation. But, honestly, how often does that happen? Even some of the most difficult people have the ability to feel sorrow. Perhaps we could find a new phrase for what we THINK we are talking about. Or just accept the fact that it's human nature to act regrettably from time to time. The average lifespan is almost 80 years, giving us a lot of time to mess up.